Sung to the tune of “Everyone’s a Little Bit Racist” from “Avenue Q.”
New lyrics by Adam Sank

Introduction:
[Person 1] You’re a little bit Jewish
[Person 2] Well, you’re a little bit too.
[Person 1] I guess we’re both a little bit Jewish
[Person 2] Admitting it’s an easy thing to do
[Person 1] Sing, “Barechu!”
[Person 2] Between me and you, I think…

Verse 1: [Everybody]
Everyone’s a little bit Jewish. Oy vey
Doesn’t mean we all read Hebrew. Or pray
Grandpa may have been a goy
Sung Christmas carols as a boy
But now he blows the shofar every fall
So he’s a little Jewish… after all.

Verse 2:
Everyone’s a little bit Jewish
Shalom!
Doesn’t mean we all keep kosher
At home
You might work on Saturdays
Or be going through a Buddhist phase
But you light the candles
Friday night
That to you is Jewish… done right

Verse 3: [A bit slower]
Everyone’s a little bit Jewish
L’chaim!
Just because you like cheeseburgers
It’s no crime
Judaism is so vast
It isn’t just about the past
But more about what’s meaningful
For you
That’s why you are really… a Jew.
[Spoken] Everyone’s a little bit Jewish!