Do NOT, we repeat, do not get overwhelmed by the idea that your Shabbat has to be fancy. The traditional Shabbat celebration starts with four blessings (before dinner): candles, wine, challah and one for the people that we love. (JewBelong has beautiful blessings for children, friends and family.) Some people like to bake a challah or set the table with the good china (is that still a thing?) but that’s not for everyone. No challah? Use whatever bread you have in the house. No bread? Use a pretzel! Warning: don’t attempt to do the whole Shabbat Playbook in one sitting. It’s too long. But we made it this way intentionally. Flip through the playbook and see what touches you that week. Yes, Friday is fabulous because it is the end of the work week, but Shabbat makes it more than that. If you want to go all-out, here’s a checklist list of things to have on hand:

• Challah (for the challah blessing).
• Wine and kiddush cup (for the blessing over the wine). Or, use grape juice or a juice box. Hell, use a margarita. (If you haven’t figured this out yet, we are desperately trying to emphasize that you can’t do it wrong. The only way to do it wrong is to not do it.)
• Candles (for the candle blessing).
• Dinner: You can go old-school and roast a chicken, but maybe you feel like Pad Thai instead? Fabulous! Busy week? Kick Shabbat off with a martini.
• Readings: We have lots to choose from, but this blessing for kids, and this blessing for interfaith homes are extra special. Our hilarious skits, written by Lin Manuel Miranda, are the perfect way to get everyone involved. (JK. We wrote them.)

And, if one week your Shabbat isn’t as inspirational or warm as you like, just wait seven days and try again!

The point of Shabbat is to rest. Resting isn’t lazy; it’s restorative and gets you ready for the week to come. Staying away from the mall and other hectic places makes that easier. If you want to go big, you can follow stricter rules, like not driving, carrying money, emailing or watching TV. Some people observe Shabbat rules until sundown on Saturday. But for most of us, it’s not practical, and honestly, we don’t want to. The important thing is to set Friday nights apart and make them special. Try one of JewBelong’s skits! Or go to a synagogue. Friday night services often include singing, are on the shorter side, and you might really enjoy it. (Pro tip: Saturday morning services tend to be longer.)

Saturday services at most synagogues take about two hours, sometimes longer. They follow a similar order. It might help if you know what’s coming: The Warm-Up: The service starts out with a few Hebrew hymns. The songs are pretty, and it’s a good way to get yourself in the right mindset, kind of like the first few poses in a yoga class. Blessings: Next are the core Jewish prayers, which include the Sh’ma (one of the most common Hebrew blessings, and, some say, most important) and the blessings that go with it, like the V’ahavta and Mi Chamocha. (These are all in Hebrew, so there are going to be a lot of those throat-clearing sounds). There may be readings and other blessings too; we’re just trying to hit the highlights here. (Side note: If there’s a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, the child might help lead a lot of these prayers. It all depends on the synagogue, the rabbi, and the kid.) The Torah Service: This is the main event, and it starts with some prep work. (Again, if you’re at service for a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, the person having the Bar/Bat Mitzvah has a starring role.)

• The first step is taking the Torah out of the ark and then walking around the synagogue with it in a processional. Lots of people kiss the Torah when it comes past, usually by kissing their prayer book or the corner of their tallit and then touching it to the Torah. It’s also a good time to give a wink to your friend who’s carrying the Torah, shake hands with the rabbi (for some reason, people really like that), and honestly, chat for a few minutes with your friends while you’re waiting. Once the Torah makes it back to the bimah it’s unwrapped of its fancy covering and placed on the platform to be read.
• Next comes the actual Torah reading. (There’s a blessing before the Torah reading called an Aliyah. We’ll tell you more a little later.) The Torah is divided into weekly portions, and each week has a corresponding parasha, which is basically the lesson to be learned from the Torah reading. Once the Torah is read in Hebrew, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah kid or the rabbi typically makes a short speech translating what was just read (this is called the D’var Torah) and giving their own take on the lessons within it. It’s the part of the service that is typically the most interesting because each person has their own interpretation and people can get creative or funny with it.
• The Torah is then rolled back up and put away, or sometimes someone sits with it on the bimah.

The Haftorah:

• Seriously, we grew up under the assumption that the Haftorah is simply half the Torah. Makes sense, right? Ah, if it were only that easy. Actually, the Haftorah is a selection from the Books of Prophets (Nevi’im) about a bunch of well, prophets, including Joshua, Judges, Samuel and Kings. Only selected passages make it into the Haftorah cycle. There’s a portion to match each week’s Torah reading. The Haftorah is part of a book, not a scroll, and, also unlike the Torah, it has vowels, which makes the Hebrew infinitely easier to read. (Don’t worry – there’s no quiz on this.)

More Prayers:

• The next few parts, the Musaf service, then the Amidah, and then Repetition go pretty quickly.

Kaddish: Before the service is over, there is also the Mourner’s Kaddish, which is a prayer for those who have died. First, the rabbi generally announces who in the congregation is observing yahrzeit and in whose memory they’re saying it. Yahrzeit marks the anniversary of someone’s death. So, if your dad died in August, it is common to go to synagogue on the anniversary of his death to say Kaddish for him. The rabbi might say, “Today we remember Stanley Green, father of Jim, grandfather of Ben.” And if Jim is at services, he will stand during Kaddish. Chances are that Ben (who, in this example, is the grandson) won’t stand, because usually you just say Kaddish for your parents, brother, sister, or children, but it’s still a free country, so if Stacy wants to stand, she can. Also, if your parent died within the past year, you always stand for Kaddish. This is not a hard and fast rule, but in Reform synagogues, it is generally the custom for everyone to stand during the recitation of Kaddish. Some people like to do this to remember the 6 million Jews who were murdered in the Holocaust and have no one to say Kaddish for them. In Conservative and Orthodox synagogoues, only those in a period of personal mourning or observing a yahrzeit usually stand. This is also nice because the community can see who is standing, and perhaps give them an extra hug later. Healing Prayer: Another popular prayer that you may see at Shabbat services is the Mi Shebeirach, which is the Jewish prayer for healing. It is often sung to a sweet tune that was written by a fabulous singer-songwriter, Debbie Friedman. The Mi Shebeirach prays for a physical cure, as well as spiritual healing, and it asks for blessing, compassion, restoration, and strength within the community and for others who are ill, as well as for all Jews and all human beings. Often, before the Mi Shebeirach is sung, the rabbi asks the congregation if they would like to name someone who is in need of healing. Then people say the name out loud. This is another touching time when the community can see who among them might need a little extra TLC. The End (Almost): Then there’s usually another reading or two, then announcements, then the service is over. There’s usually an oneg, a little post-service reception, which is formally a celebration in honor of the Sabbath, but informally, it’s the time when you get to have a cookie for sitting through the service!

A little more about the Torah while we’re on the topic:

• It’s made of parchment, and we’re not supposed to touch it because the natural oil in our hands can harm these often very old scrolls. Instead, there’s a cool pointer called a yad – it’s shaped like a little hand, because yad is hand in Hebrew – and the person reading the Torah uses the yad to keep his or her place. This is easier said than done because the writing is super small and the Torah is in Hebrew, with no vowels, which makes it tough to read.
• Reading the Torah is, well, complicated. The Torah is chock full of laws and stories. It takes a year to read the whole thing. We start on Rosh Hashanah and finish on Simchat Torah. Every year. Same book. So, if you had a book to get through every year, and you knew that on Saturday Shabbat services they would read one section, you’d split up the book into 52 sections. One per week and let it rip. Which is almost how it works with the Torah. The catch is that there are 54 sections instead of 52, and each section is pretty long, so most synagogues split each section into three parts, and cycle through the Torah every three years.

An Aliyah is the honor of going up to the bimah and saying or singing a short two-line prayer, before and after, a small section of the Torah is chanted. The prayer is about thanking God for the blessing of learning Torah. An Aliyah is chanted in Hebrew and, wouldn’t you know it, there are a few rituals around it, which we explain below. If someone chooses to give you an Aliyah, it means you really mean a lot to them. So our advice is to practice it and don’t phumpher around, and not know it once you get on the bimah. You don’t need to learn it by heart, but practice. It won’t take that long to get it down, and you’ll save yourself some nerves when you’re actually reading. Most synagogues usually have a helpful card or sign beside the Torah that gives you the words phonetically, too — it’s a huge help. But still — be prepared. Typically, when you’re given an Aliyah, you’ll be asked your Hebrew name and the Hebrew names of your mom and dad. If your mom and dad do not have Hebrew names, then just use their English names. The reason you need this is because the rabbi will call each Aliyah with the person’s full Hebrew name, which is basically their name and the name of their parents. So, if someone’s Hebrew name is Rachel and her parents are Abraham and Sara, the rabbi would chant in Hebrew, “c’mon up Rachel, daughter of Abraham and Sara.” Follow the instructions below to pull off an Aliyah like a champ. (And, seriously, you need this advice. If we had a dollar for every time we witnessed some family member think that they can wing their Aliyah — after all, it’s only a two-line prayer, right? — and then royally screw it up, well, we could throw a pretty nice party.) Step 1: Know which Aliyah you are going to have. There are usually seven of them, although that varies again by the synagogue and degree of observance, as well as on holidays and weekdays. You should know so you’re ready and not out to the bathroom or something. Step 2: Wear a tallit and a kippah. This is not a hard and fast rule, and you can check out what is happening at the particular synagogue, but as we said, it’s an honor to have an Aliyah and if you are going to be up on the bimah, you should have the proper accouterments. It’s all about accessorizing! You may also need the tallit, because you are not supposed to touch the Torah with your bare finger, so lots of people use the edge of their tallit. Keep reading. Step 3. Let’s stick with our example of Rachel as the one being honored with an Aliyah. When the rabbi calls her name, up she goes. Once Rachel is up on the bimah, she stands to the right of the Torah reader. The gabbai is also up on the stage. This is the person who follows along and makes sure the Torah reader gets it right. It is pretty hard to read the Torah, so that’s why all the fuss. But back to Rachel. The Torah reader points to the spot in the Torah that she is about to read. Rachel then takes her tallit, touches it to that spot, kisses it, and chants or says the first part of the Aliyah. We have never been to a synagogue that does not have a copy of the Aliyah on the bimah, but bring your prayer book up with you if it makes you more comfortable. Step 4: Then, after the first part of the Aliyah is chanted, Rachel remains there while the Torah reader chants a section in Hebrew. When the Torah reader finishes the section (usually about three minutes tops), he or she will point to the spot where they finished. Rachel then touches the spot where the Torah reader just ended with her tallit, and sings the second part of the Aliyah. Then, phew, she’s done with the hard part. Step 5: Rachel will then want to rush away, nerves frayed, but job done. But not just yet. At this point, unless Rachel had the final Aliyah (which she probably won’t, because usually the Bar/Bat Mitzvah kid does that one themselves), she should move over to the left side of the Torah reader and just stay up on the bimah. Forever? No, not forever. Just until the next Torah reader finishes his or her part, and then they take Rachel’s spot and she can sit back down. Step 6: There’s a lot of shaking hands. It’s good manners to congratulate the person who had an Aliyah by shaking their hand. Even when Rachel goes back to her seat, there are people who will shake her hand in congratulations. They might also say “yasher koach,” which means, basically, “way to go!”