Circumcision is one of the oldest Jewish traditions and began with an agreement between Abraham and God some 3,500 years ago. The name bris or brit milah in Hebrew, translates to covenant of circumcision. The short version of the story is that God made some big promises to Abraham, including making him the father of many nations, giving his descendants land, and making Abraham a blessing in the world. In exchange, all Jewish boys were to be circumcised going forward, which became the symbol of the spiritual connection between God and all Jewish people. Yes, we get it… this is a funny trade. Some rabbis say that the crux of it all is that God chose Abraham to spread kindness, and monotheism, throughout the world, and that we have a responsibility to continue that work today, especially the kindness part. Circumcision is considered by many to be the ultimate affirmation of Jewish identity. By the way, Abraham was already an old man when God spoke to him, and he circumcised himself. That seems like a baller move. No pun intended. Like many Jewish traditions, it turns out that there are also health reasons for circumcision, including easier hygiene and a decreased risk of urinary tract and sexually transmitted infections.

We know what you’re thinking now… You’re thinking, “Dammit, JewBelong! I just gave birth! I’m a new parent. I’m exhausted. Yes, I want to have a meaningful bris for my son, but seriously? I haven’t even showered in two days and you want me to put together a ceremony?” Not to worry! We’ve got a beautiful booklet of readings ready for you to print, plus easy-to-follow ceremony guidelines below. You can leave the Hebrew and other traditional stuff to the mohel. For overachievers and early planners, there are more choices in the reading section below. Side note: Most Jewish families choose to circumcise their sons, but it can be a sensitive subject for some, no pun intended, so we’re staying away from that one. If you don’t have a bris, you can still have a naming ceremony, and yes, we have an entire baby naming ceremony section.

The first step to planning a beautiful bris is to choose the people who will be part of the ceremony: 1. Hire A Mohel Google “mohel” and you’ll probably get a long list. Or, ask your friends or call your local synagogue for recommendations. Choose a mohel who you feel comfortable with, and who will take the time to answer all of your questions. The most common question mohels get is whether they use a topical anesthetic or prefer to give the baby sugar water or wine as a mild form of sedation so you can always start there. Prices for mohels generally start at several hundred dollars and go up from there, especially if the mohel is traveling from out of town. 2. Assign Roles To Loved Ones Assigning roles is a fantastic way to include loved ones during the ceremony. The main roles are:

• Kvatter or kvatterin (plural): The person/people who carry the baby into the room where the bris will take place and deliver him into the arms of the sandek. If you want to assign two people, go for it! Jewish people generally don’t appoint godparents, so this is a nice substitute.
• Sandek: The sandek used to be the person who held the baby in his lap (it was usually a man, often a grandfather) while the circumcision was performed. These days it is much more logical and safer for the sandek to place the baby on a sturdy table and stand close by instead.

If you want to include even more VIPs – and we say the more the merrier – assign readings or stories or songs.

No matter what you decide to do, a bris is a relatively short event. Not only are there tired parents and a newborn to consider, but the main event, the actual circumcision and the traditional blessings that go with it, move along pretty quickly. We say add a little extra and personalize it with some readings because, after all, a circumcision is a once-in-a-lifetime ceremony that fulfills a millennia-old covenant between God and the Jewish people. Just sayin’… A bris is often held in the morning, and can take place just about anywhere… home, the community room in your apartment building, etc. All you really need is a quiet space big enough for your guests. If you belong to a synagogue, you can probably have it there, either as a private event or part of services (talk to your rabbi about the best way to do that). Either way, a summary of a lovely ceremony is below. Your mohel might suggest slight variations, but it’s a relatively standard process. Just be sure to tell the mohel, in advance, that you’re planning to personalize the event and to please try not to be too much of a control freak. Trust us, he/she is used to it.

• Welcome: A few words of welcome to the loving group that has joined you, usually done by Mom or Dad. Unless you’re in the middle of Jerusalem, there are probably some newbies who would love to hear what a bris is all about, so this is a good time to explain. You can also ask the mohel to do the explaining part.
• The baby is placed on a pillow and carried into the room by the kvatter/kvatterin.
• The mohel and guests welcome baby with the Hebrew words: Baruch Ha-Ba, which means blessed is the one who has arrived.
• The baby is handed to the sandek, who stays close to the baby during the circumcision.
• The mohel says a blessing, probably in Hebrew (it basically says that the circumcision fulfills a Holy Commandment) and then a parent, hands the mohel a surgical knife, which indicates that he is appointing the mohel to fulfill the covenant of circumcision.
• The parents say the following blessing as the mohel begins the procedure. “Blessed are You, God, Spirit of the Universe, who has sanctified us with Their commandments and commanded us to enter him into the covenant of Abraham our father.” Those present respond, “Just as he has entered into the covenant, so may he enter into Torah, into marriage, and into good deeds.” (Try not to worry too much – this part literally takes seconds.)
• The mohel, or sometimes loved ones, say Kiddush and the Shehecheyanu.
• The kvatter returns the infant to his parents.
• Phew! Now that the baby is back with his parents, and most likely calm already, it’s a great time for a reading or two. (See our booklet for our favorites.)
• Announcement of the baby’s Hebrew name. The mohel often does this, but we love when a parent or loved one takes the wheel. If you’re naming your baby after a loved one, this can be one of the highlights of the ceremony. It’s a great time to honor the person he’s named after with stories, a few words about why the name was chosen, and photos if you have them. If you just chose the name because you liked it, that’s cool too! (We have a whole section on choosing a Hebrew name so start there.)
• Another reading or two.
• Thank you and goodbye! It’s nice to end with thanks to everyone for helping to welcome your baby and for being part of her life. We especially love this blessing to thank family members of other faiths for their love and support.

You probably love your son’s English name, or else you would have chosen something different. Choosing a Hebrew name is another chance to choose a name you love. With one caveat… If you were wondering why you’ve never met a Joshua Schwartz Junior or Harold Mandelbaum III, it’s because most Jews don’t name their baby after someone who is living. (Side note: This is only true for Ashkenazi Jews. Sephardic Jews do name their children after living relatives, but we digress…) The reasons not to name a baby after someone who is alive, come from superstitions and ideas about being respectful to the living, but honestly, it’s also less confusing than having three Harolds in the same family. On the other hand, it’s considered an honor to name your baby after a loved one who is deceased so that the name lives on. Plenty of families choose two names — one from each side of the family. Others choose the Hebrew version of the baby’s first or middle name (e.g. Yosef for Joseph or Benyamin for Benjamin). There are also plenty of beautiful biblical and Israeli names to choose from.

Although the mohel will give you more precise instructions, you’ll likely need the following:

• Baby wipes.
• Diapers.
• Sturdy waist-high table that won’t wobble, plus another table or area for the Mohel’s instruments.
• A pillow.
• Antibacterial ointment.
• A pacifier if you use one.
• Grape wine or grape juice and a kiddush cup or wine glass, as the Kiddush is typically part of the ceremony.
• Extra lamps if there isn’t already good lighting in the room!
• A kippah for baby, and an outfit for him that allows easy, um, access.

Optional but a nice touch:

• Copies of the ceremony so that your guests can follow along, or copies of the readings that they will be asked to recite.
• Chairs for guests who may need to sit.
• Food (bagels and lox are a staple) for after the ceremony, as is a challah to say HaMotzi.
• Yarmulkes (kippot) for the participants and a teeny tiny one for the baby… No, we are not kidding. But ask your mohel, he will probably bring one.
• Photographs of the person or people being remembered, if you are naming your son after a loved one.
• Elijah’s chair: Set aside a chair for the prophet Elijah (Yup, the same one we welcome on Passover. He’s also known to be a special protector of children). This chair can be decorated by simply draping a tallit over it, or it can be decorated with flowers, ribbons and ornamental pillows (a fun job for an older sibling).
• A small blank journal on hand for guests to write notes and good wishes to the baby. Makes a wonderful keepsake!

When a Jewish boy is born, it’s likely that there will be a bris eight days later, probably in the morning, although it may be postponed if the baby isn’t well enough. Like so many Jewish traditions, it’s a mitzvah to attend. If it’s a close friend, don’t wait for an invitation. The parents can’t exactly plan it in advance so just do your best to get there. Call or email someone in the family (ideally not the parents who probably have their hands full) and ask for the details and if you can bring something or be of help.