step by step
what to plan
for at a bris
- Welcome: A few words of welcome to the loving group that has joined you, usually done by Mom or Dad. Unless you’re in the middle of Jerusalem, there are probably some newbies who would love to hear what a bris is all about, so this is a good time to explain. You can also ask the mohel to do the explaining part.
- The baby is placed on a pillow and carried into the room by the kvatter/kvatterin.
- The mohel and guests welcome baby with the Hebrew words: Baruch Ha-Ba, which means blessed is the one who has arrived.
- The baby is handed to the sandek, who stays close to the baby during the circumcision.
- The mohel says a blessing, probably in Hebrew (it basically says that the circumcision fulfills a Holy Commandment) and then a parent, hands the mohel a surgical knife, which indicates that he is appointing the mohel to fulfill the covenant of circumcision.
- The parents say the following blessing as the mohel begins the procedure. “Blessed are You, God, Spirit of the Universe, who has sanctified us with Their commandments and commanded us to enter him into the covenant of Abraham our father.” Those present respond, “Just as he has entered into the covenant, so may he enter into Torah, into marriage, and into good deeds.” (Try not to worry too much – this part literally takes seconds.)
- The mohel, or sometimes loved ones, say Kiddush and the Shehecheyanu.
- The kvatter returns the infant to his parents.
- Phew! Now that the baby is back with his parents, and most likely calm already, it’s a great time for a reading or two. (See our booklet or below for our favorites.)
- Announcement of the baby’s Hebrew name. The mohel often does this, but we love when a parent or loved one takes the wheel. If you’re naming your baby after a loved one, this can be one of the highlights of the ceremony. It’s a great time to honor the person he’s named after with stories, a few words about why the name was chosen, and photos if you have them. If you just chose the name because you liked it, that’s cool too! (We have a whole section on choosing a Hebrew name so start there.)
- Another reading or two.
- Thank you and goodbye! It’s nice to end with thanks to everyone for helping to welcome your baby and for being part of her life. We especially love this blessing to thank family members of other faiths for their love and support.
bris prayers & blessings
Kiddush (Blessing Over The Wine)
The Kiddush is the blessing over the wine. Traditionally, a silver goblet is used but you can use whatever you want. Even if just one person makes the blessing, everyone is supposed to partake in the wine (or grape juice), so you should fill everyone’s glass before the blessing is made. There are different customs about whether to stand or sit while receiving Kiddush. Sometimes everyone stands, sometimes just the person reciting stands, sometimes everyone sits. You decide.
Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, borei p’ree hagafen. Amen.
Blessed are You, God, Spirit of the Universe, who creates the fruit of the vine. Amen.
HaMotzi (Blessing Over The Bread)
Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, hamotzi lechem min ha-aretz. Amen.
Blessed are You, God, Spirit of the Universe, who brings forth bread from the earth. Amen.
The Shehecheyanu – Generic Prayer Of Gratitude
Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, shehecheyanu v’key’manu v’higiyanu lazman hazeh. Amen.
Praised are You, Spirit of the Universe, who keeps us alive, sustains us, and brings us to this moment. Amen.
bris readings
Blessing For Anyone Who Isn’t Jewish (‘Cause We Know This Is A Lot)
acknowledge the diversity of our community and are deeply grateful for the love and support you provide by opening your heart to Judaism, no matter how big or small a part it is in your day. Your presence at this Jewish experience is valued. It is not taken for granted because not everyone in this broken world will sit at a Shabbat dinner or attend a Passover Seder. We are a very small people and history has made us smaller. As we once again see a rise in hatred and hear fear in the voices of our community, we are grateful for your presence. We pray with all our hearts that all you give to the Jewish people will come back to you and fill your life with joy. Amen.
Add When Reading To A Family Raising Kids:
We offer special thanks to those who are raising their sons and daughters with Jewish identity. Our children mean hope, life and future. With all our hearts, we want to thank you for your love and willingness in giving the ultimate gift to the Jewish people. Amen.
-Inspired by Rabbi Janet Marder
A Blessing For The Intermarried
Many of you have made the historic and unprecedented decision to raise Jewish children. We will vow never to take this for granted. You come to services, even when it feels strange and confusing at first. You hum along to the Hebrew prayers, and some of you learn to read our ancient language. We know that some of you have paid a personal price for the generous decision you made to raise Jewish children, and giving up the joy of sharing your own spiritual beliefs and passing your own religious traditions down to your kids. Your presence here honors us. Your presence here makes us stronger and wiser.
-Rabbi Daniel Zemel
A Blessing For Friends!
Here with you our friends, we feel so greatly blessed.
We link hands for a moment and feel the warmth of this community.
We are blessed to be surrounded by friends and loved ones here today from near and far.
From years past and from yesterday.
Months go by before we speak to some, others we see daily.
Some share blood or politics and some share experiences and some just a sense of humor and opinions.
The energy that brings people together is a mystery and a gift.
We thank God for our friends and community who have phones that they answer, emails that they respond to, shoulders to lean on and hands to hold.
May we always remember the exquisite value of friendship and community and be good friends in return. Amen.
-A JewBelong Original
Our Hope For You
As you travel along the path that will be your life, may you walk on firm ground, with the wind at your back and the sun shining gently on your face.
May your mind, body and hands be strong, and may their work be guided by both the wisdom of your soul and the compassion of your heart.
May you draw from the strength and wisdom of our tradition, and those who came before you, and make them your own.
May you have beautiful dreams which inspire you, and may your pursuit of those dreams be fulfilling.
May your successes be many, and when you don’t succeed, may you learn and grow from the experience, and go on.
May you always give yourself the gift of learning something new.
May you have the courage of conviction and patience to fight for what you know to be right.
May you laugh often.
May you always go to sleep at night with that feeling of satisfaction that comes from a day well lived.
May you always have peace in your home and in your heart.
May you know unbridled joy, and may your sorrows be few and far between.
May you find true, enduring love, and may you be blessed with children as wonderful as you.
May you always have good friends.
May you always feel the love of family and friends as you take your place among the Jewish people of your generation.
May you live a long, healthy, happy, and peaceful life, and may you be the change you want to see in the world.
-Shelley Niceley Groff
Listen To The Mustn’ts
Listen to the mustn’ts, child, listen to the don’ts.
Listen to the shouldn’ts, The impossibles, the won’ts.
Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me.
Anything can happen child, anything can be.
-Shel Silverstein
It Couldn’t Be Done
Somebody said that it couldn’t be done, but he with a chuckle replied that “maybe it couldn’t,” but he would be one who wouldn’t say so till he tried. So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin on his face. If he worried, he hid it. He started to sing as he tackled the thing that couldn’t be done, and he did it. Somebody scoffed, “Oh, you’ll never do that, at least no one ever has done it”. But he took off his coat and he took off his hat, and the first thing we knew he’d begun it. With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin, without any doubting or quitting, he started to sing as he tackled the thing that couldn’t be done, and he did it. There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done. There are thousands to prophesy failure. There are thousands to point out to you, one by one, the dangers that wait to assail you, but just buckle in with a bit of a grin. Just take off your coat and go to it. Just start to sing as you tackle the thing that “cannot be done” and you’ll do it.
-Edgar A. Guest
Standing On The Shoulders
In the garden there’s a tree planted by someone who only imagined me.
What love, what vision.
I marvel at the gift.
No fruit could be sweeter than this.
I’m standing on the shoulders of the ones who came before me.
As my people went from land to land, something passed from hand to hand, and it isn’t just eh words and stories.
Of the ancient laws and golden glories, it’s the way we study the book we study, it’s the way we study the way.
I’m standing on the shoulders of the ones who came before me.
Today my life is full of choice because a young man raised his voice.
Because a young girl took a chance, I am freedom’s inheritance.
Years ago they crossed the sea and they made a life that’s come to me.
I’m standing on the shoulders of the ones who came before me so in the garden I’ll plant a seed, a tree of life for you to read.
The fruit will ripen in the sun.
The words will sound when I am gone.
These are the things I pass along, the fruit, the book and the song.
I’m standing on the shoulders of the ones who came before me.
-Doug Cotler
Teaching Your Children About God
There was once a man who stood before God, his heart breaking from the pain and injustice in the world. “Dear God,” he cried out, “look at all the suffering, the anguish and distress in your world. Why don’t you send help?” God responded, “I did, I sent you.”
-Rabbi David J. Wolpe
We Choose Our Own Way
Do not imagine that character is determined at birth. We have been given free will. Any person can become as righteous as Moses or as wicked as Jeroboam. We ourselves learned or ignorant, compassionate or cruel, generous or miserly. No one forces us, no one decides for us, no one drags us along one path or another. We, ourselves, by our own volition, choose our own way!
-Moses Maimonides
What I Wish For My Child, I Wish For All Our Children
I wish for you to be a person of character. Strong, but not tough. Gentle, but not weak.
I wish for you to be righteous, but not self-righteous. Honest, but not unforgiving.
Wherever you journey, may your steps be firm and may you walk in just paths and not be afraid.
Whenever you speak, may your words be words of wisdom and friendship.
May your hands build and your heart preserve what is good and beautiful in our world.
May the voices of generations of our people move through you and may the God of our ancestors be your God as well.
May you know that there is a people, a rich heritage, to which you belong and from that sacred place you are connected to all who dwell on the earth.
May the stories of our people be upon your heart and grace of the Torah rhythm and dance in your soul.
-Rabbi Sandy Eisenberg Sasso
May You Always Feel Loved
May a kind word, a reassuring touch, and a warm smile be yours every day of your life, and may you give these gifts as well as receive them.
Remember the sunshine when the storm seems unending. Teach love to those who know hate, and let that love embrace you as you go into the world.
May you not become too concerned with material matters, but instead place immeasurable value on the goodness in your heart.
Find time in each day to see beauty and love in the world around you. Realize that each person has limitless abilities, but each of us is different in our own way.
What you may feel you lack in one regard may be more than compensated for in another.
What you feel you lack in the present may become one of your strengths in the future.
May you see your future as one filled with promise and possibility.
May you find enough inner strength to determine your own worth by yourself, and not be dependent on another’s judgment of your accomplishments.
May you always feel loved.
-Sandra Sturtz Hauss
The Story Of The Guarantors
When Israel stood to receive the Torah, God said to them: “I am giving you my Torah. Give to me good guarantors that will guard it, and I shall give it to you.”
They said: “Our ancestors are our guarantors.”
God said: “Your ancestors are not sufficient guarantors. Yet bring me good guarantors, and I shall give you the Torah.”
They said: “Ruler of the Universe, our prophets are our guarantors.”
God said: “The prophets are not sufficient guarantors. Yet bring me good guarantors, and I shall give you the Torah.”
They said: “Here, our children are our guarantors.”
God said: “They are certainly good guarantors. For the sake of your children, I give you the Torah.”
-Author Unknown
On Children
Your Children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.
They come through you, but not from you.
You may give them your love, but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies, but not their souls.
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
-Kahlil Gibran
I Wish You The Strength To Face Challenges
Dearest one,
I wish you the strength to face challenges with confidence along with the wisdom to choose your battles carefully. I wish you adventure on your journey and may you always stop to help someone along the way. Listen to your heart and take risks carefully. Remember how much you are loved. I am so proud of you!
-Patsy Gaut
May The Road Rise To Meet You
May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand.
May God be with you and bless you.
May you see your children’s children.
May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings.
May you know nothing, but happiness from this day forward.
May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the warm rays of sun fall upon your home and may the hand of a friend always be near.
May green be the grass you walk on.
May blue be the skies above you.
May pure be the joys that surround you.
May true be the hearts that love you.
-Author Unknown
I Thank You For This Wondrous Gift Of Life
I thank you for this wondrous gift of life.
I am humbled by the blessings and responsibilities of parenthood and my participation in the miracle of creation.
May I learn to love without smothering.
May I learn to house without imprisoning.
May I learn to give without imposing.
May I learn to live today, that yesterday and tomorrow might find their own way in the world.
I give thanks to life for the gift of life, and stand in wonder before the awesome task of parenting that lies before me.
Blessed is the way of life that makes parent rejoice with child.
-Rami M. Shapiro
Unconditional Love
Give your children unconditional love, a love that is not dependent on report cards, clean hands, or popularity. Give your children a sense of your whole-hearted acceptance, acceptance of their human frailties as well as their abilities and virtues. Give your children your permission to grow up to make their own lives independent of you. Give them a sense of truth. Make them aware of themselves as citizens of a universe in which there are many obstacles as well as fulfillment’s. Bestow upon your child the blessings of your faith. These are the laws of honoring your son. Out of these laws will be built the Declaration of Independence for the coming generation, a spiritual and emotional independence that, in turn, will make the world free, democratic, safe, creative.
-Rabbi Joshua Loth Liebman
We Are Thankful
We are thankful for our family and friends and what we mean and bring to one another. We are grateful for the bonds of loyalty and affection which sustain us and keep us close to one another no matter how far apart we may be.
We thank you for implanting in us a deep need for each other, and for giving us the capacity to love and to care.
Help us to be modest in our demands of one another, but generous in our giving to each other. May we never measure how much love or encouragement we offer; may we never count the times we forgive. Rather, may we always be grateful that we have one another and that we are able to express our love in acts of kindness.
Keep us gentle in our speech. When we offer words of criticism, may they be spoken with care and said softly. May we waste no opportunity to speak words of sympathy, of appreciation, of praise.
Bless our family and our community of loved one with health, happiness, and contentment. Above all, grant us the wisdom to build a joyous and peaceful home in which the awareness of Your presence will always abide.
-Sidney Greenberg
As Your Eyes Are Filled With Wonder
As your eyes are filled with wonder when you gaze at the world, so, too, may you be filled with wonder at the everyday miracles of life.
As you startle to the world around you, so may you remain ever open both to the happiness and to the pain of those you encounter in the world.
As you cry for food and comfort now, so may you one day cry out to correct the injustices of the world, to help clothe the naked and feed the hungry.
As your hand tightly grasps your mother’s finger, so may you grasp hold of learning and grow in knowledge and wisdom.
-Debra Nussbaum Cohen
Holiness and Love
How are we able to perform countless acts of love as we are commanded?
How can we begin to obey such a difficult charge?
It is not such a mystery, really.
Every lullaby, every diaper change, every smile, every sleepless night, every wordless prayer of thanks for this perfect baby.
In these and the unending ways we care for and teach and protect our children, we perform countless acts of love.
And the world is made holier. And so are we.
-Debra Nussbaum Cohen (adapted from the Midrash)
Planting The Seeds Of Eternity
One day a sage was walking along a road, and he saw a man planting a carob tree. The sage asked the man, “How long does it take for this tree to bear fruit?” The man replied, “Seventy years.” The sage responded, “Are you certain that you will live another seventy years?” The man replied: “I found grown carob trees in the world; as my forefathers planted those for me, I too plant these for my children.”
-A Talmud Story
The Voice
There is a voice inside of you that whispers all day long,
“I feel this is right for me, I know that this is wrong.”
No teacher, preacher, parent, friend or wise man can decide, what’s right for you.
Just listen to the voice that speaks inside.
Shel Silverstein
Welcome To The World
Welcome to the world!
You are so small.
People make such a fuss!
I don’t always understand why!
I think I will take care of you and play with you sometimes, because I am big.
I hope you like me and that you learn to say my name.
Sometimes you pull my hair, but I do not mind, unless you pull it very hard.
Sometimes I will fight with you because you want my toys.
I hope you will not mind.
Sometimes I will be angry at Mommy or Daddy because they spend too much time with you
I hope you will forgive me.
Thank you God, for little fingers and little toes, just like mine.
Thank you God, for arms that are large enough to hold one more.
Thank you, God, for a love that is big enough to include my brother and me.
With All My Heart
With all my heart, with all my soul, with all my might.
I am thankful for the gift of this wonderful child.
I thank you for a healthy pregnancy, a safe delivery and speedy recovery.
With all my heart, with all my soul, with all my might.
I hope for the continued health of this child.
I hope for him to be strong in mind and body,
To grow steadily and sturdily in a home filled with joy.
I hope for him to become a person who greets the world
With passion, courage, humility, humor and patience.
With all my heart, with all my soul, with all my might.
-Rabbi Maggie Wenig, adapted from the poem by Rabbi Judy Shanks
Blessing For A Son
We hope this child will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid. That he will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, but humble and gentle in victory. We hope that he learns to stand up in a storm. Learns compassion for those who fall and has the insight to know himself.
-General Douglas MacArthur
A Blessing For Our Newborn
May the one who blessed our mothers, Sarah, Rebecca, Leah, and Rachel, and our fathers, Abraham, Issac and Jacob, bless these parents and their newborn son. His name shall be (insert English or Hebrew name here). May his parents rear their son with love of Torah and the performance of good deeds, and may they be privileged to bring him to the marriage canopy. Let us say Amen.
-Author Unknown
Bris Short But Sweet
- Always remember, you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think and twice as beautiful as you ever imagined.
-Author Unknown - There are two gifts we should give our children. One is roots and the other is wings.
-Hodding Carter - Don’t promise when you’re happy. Don’t reply when you’re angry and don’t decide when you’re sad.
-Ziad K. Abdelhour - It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
-E.E. Cummings - Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy.
-Robert Tew - The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson - Once you bring life into the world, you must protect it. We must protect it by changing the world.
-Elie Wiesel - There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
-Albert Einstein - Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.
-Anne Frank - The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection and not a fountain, to show children that we love them, not when we feel like it, but when they do.
-Nan Fairbrother - Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.
-Golda Meir
bris adoption readings
The Gift
I didn’t give you the gift of life, but in my heart I know.
The love I feel is deep and real, as if it had been so.
For us to have each other is like a dream come true!
No, I didn’t give you the gift of life, life gave me the gift of you.
-Author Unknown
The Chosen Heart
Longing for a child to love, I’d wish upon the stars above.
In my heart I always knew, a part of me was meant for you.
I think how happy we will be, once I adopt you, and you adopt me.
I dream of all the joy you’ll bring, imagining even the littlest things.
The way it will feel to hold you tight, and tuck you in every night.
The drawings on the refrigerator door, and childhood toys across the floor.
The favorite stories read again and again, and hours of games with make-believe friends.
The day you took my outstretched hand, a journey ended, but our lives began.
Still mesmerized by your sweet face, still warmed inside by our first embrace.
I promised to give you a happy home, and a loving family all your own.
A house you’ve now made complete, with laughter, smiles and tiny feet.
A parent is one who guides the way, know I will be there everyday.
Rest easy as each night you sleep, a lifetime of love is yours to keep.
Longing for a child to love, I’d wish upon the stars above.
In my heart I always knew, a part of me belonged to you.
-Teri Harrison
You First Came To Us In An Envelope
You first came to us in an envelope with letters, forms and such.
Just two tiny little pictures with nothing warm to touch.
You grew in our imagination in our hearts and in our minds.
You brought us greater joy than we ever thought we’d find.
A phone call started labor pain which lasted ’til we met.
Strangers brought together, a day we won’t forget.
You bloomed as you were planned in our hearts, our lives, our home.
Our child of chance, of plan, of will you’re now our very own.
-Author Unknown
The Adoption Of A Broken Girl
Once there were two women who never knew each other.
One you do not remember, the other you call mother.
Two different lives shaped to make you one.
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name.
One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim.
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears.
One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do.
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.
Now, which of these two women, are you the product of?
Both, my darling, both. Just two different types of love.
-Julie Anderson
Prayer For An Adopted Child
We have been blessed with the precious gift of this child. After so much waiting and wishing, we are filled with wonder and gratitude as we call you our child. Our child, you have grown to life apart from us. But now we hold you close to our hearts and cradle you in our arms with our love. We welcome you into the circle of our family and embrace you with the beauty of a rich tradition.
We pledge ourselves to the creation of a Jewish home and to a life of compassion for others, hoping that you will grow to cherish and emulate these ideals.
God of new beginnings, teach us to be mother and father, worthy of this sacred trust of life. May our child grow in health. May they be strong in mind and kind in heart, a lover of Torah, a seeker of peace. Bless all of us together beneath your shelter of shalom (peace), and grant our new family, always, the harmony and love we feel today.
-Rabbi Sandy Eisenberg Sasso
bris songs
L’chi Lach
L’chi lach, to a land that I will show you
Lech l’cha, to a place you do not know
L’chi lach, on your journey I will bless you
And you shall be a blessing
You shall be a blessing
You shall be a blessing
L’chi lach
L’chi lach, and I shall make your name great
Lech l’cha, and all shall praise your name
L’chi lach, to the place that I will show you
L’sim-chat cha-yim
L’sim-chat cha-yim
L’sim-chat cha-yim
L’chi lach
-Debbie Friedman
What A Wonderful World
I see trees of green, red roses too.
I see them bloom, for me and you.
And I think to myself.
What a wonderful world.
I see skies of blue, and clouds of white.
The bright blessed day, dark sacred night.
And I think to myself.
What a wonderful world.
The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky.
Are also on the faces, of people going by.
I see friends shaking hands, sayin’, “How do you do?”
They’re really sayin’, “I love you.”
I hear babies cryin’, I watch them grow.
They’ll learn much more, than I’ll ever know.
And I think to myself.
What a wonderful world.
Yes, I think to myself.
What a wonderful world.
-Robert Thiele and George David Weiss
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