bris

Circumcision is one of the oldest Jewish traditions, originating 3,500 years ago with an agreement between Abraham and God. The term bris (or brit milah in Hebrew) means “covenant of circumcision.” God made some big promises to Abraham, including making him the father of many nations, giving his descendants land, and making Abraham a blessing in the world. Abraham in return agreed that all Jewish boys would be circumcised, symbolizing a spiritual connection between God and the Jewish people.

While it might seem like an unusual trade, some rabbis explain that God chose Abraham to spread kindness and monotheism, a responsibility we continue today. Circumcision remains a profound affirmation of Jewish identity. Fun fact: Abraham was an old man when God spoke to him, and he circumcised himself—talk about a baller move – no pun intended.

 Like many Jewish traditions, it turns out that there are also health reasons for circumcision, including easier hygiene and a decreased risk of urinary tract and sexually transmitted infections.

Although the mohel will give you more precise instructions, you’ll likely need the following:

• Baby wipes.
• Diapers.
• Sturdy waist-high table that won’t wobble, plus another table or area for the Mohel’s instruments.
• A pillow.
• Antibacterial ointment.
• A pacifier if you use one.
• Grape wine or grape juice and a kiddush cup or wine glass, as the Kiddush is typically part of the ceremony.
• Extra lamps if there isn’t already good lighting in the room!
• A kippah for baby, and an outfit for him that allows easy, um, access.

Optional but a nice touch:

• Copies of the ceremony so that your guests can follow along, or copies of the readings that they will be asked to recite.
• Chairs for guests who may need to sit.
• Food (bagels and lox are a staple) for after the ceremony, as is a challah to say HaMotzi.
• Yarmulkes (kippot) for the participants and a teeny tiny one for the baby… No, we are not kidding. But ask your mohel, he will probably bring one.
• Photographs of the person or people being remembered, if you are naming your son after a loved one.
• Elijah’s chair: Set aside a chair for the prophet Elijah (Yup, the same one we welcome on Passover. He’s also known to be a special protector of children). This chair can be decorated by simply draping a tallit over it, or it can be decorated with flowers, ribbons and ornamental pillows (a fun job for an older sibling).
• A small blank journal on hand for guests to write notes and good wishes to the baby. Makes a wonderful keepsake!

Google “mohel” and you’ll probably get a long list. Or, ask your friends or call your local synagogue for recommendations. Choose a mohel who you feel comfortable with, and who will take the time to answer all of your questions. The most common question mohels get is whether they use a topical anesthetic or prefer to give the baby sugar water or wine as a mild form of sedation so you can always start there. Prices for mohels generally start at several hundred dollars and go up from there, especially if the mohel is traveling from out of town.

Assigning roles is a fantastic way to include loved ones during the ceremony. The main roles are:

Kvatter or kvatterin (plural): The person/people who carry the baby into the room where the bris will take place and deliver him into the arms of the sandek. If you want to assign two people, go for it! Jewish people generally don’t appoint godparents, so this is a nice substitute.

Sandek: The sandek used to be the person who held the baby in his lap (it was usually a man, often a grandfather) while the circumcision was performed. These days it is much more logical and safer for the sandek to place the baby on a sturdy table and stand close by instead.

If you want to include even more VIPs – and we say the more the merrier – assign readings or stories or songs.

You probably love your son’s English name, or else you would have chosen something different. Choosing a Hebrew name is another chance to choose a name you love. With one caveat… If you were wondering why you’ve never met a Joshua Schwartz Junior or Harold Mandelbaum III, it’s because most Jews don’t name their baby after someone who is living. (Side note: This is only true for Ashkenazi Jews. Sephardic Jews do name their children after living relatives, but we digress…) The reasons not to name a baby after someone who is alive, come from superstitions and ideas about being respectful to the living, but honestly, it’s also less confusing than having three Harolds in the same family. On the other hand, it’s considered an honor to name your baby after a loved one who is deceased so that the name lives on. Plenty of families choose two names — one from each side of the family. Others choose the Hebrew version of the baby’s first or middle name (e.g. Yosef for Joseph or Benyamin for Benjamin). There are also plenty of beautiful biblical and Israeli names to choose from.

When a Jewish boy is born, it’s likely that there will be a bris eight days later, probably in the morning, although it may be postponed if the baby isn’t well enough. Like so many Jewish traditions, it’s a mitzvah to attend. If it’s a close friend, don’t wait for an invitation. The parents can’t exactly plan it in advance so just do your best to get there. Call or email someone in the family (ideally not the parents who probably have their hands full) and ask for the details and if you can bring something or be of help.